If you consider yourself to be highly competitive, it is important to take a step back every so often and ask yourself if you are breaking down or building up your teammates. Which scenario below resonates best with you?
Scenario #1
There are ten minutes left in the game and your team is in a must win situation. A few of your teammates are not stepping up to the challenge and are making some mistakes due to fatigue and pressure. You quickly run over and communicate with your teammate in the following way:
- focus on the problem not the actual person when discussing their mistake
- let them know that you need their best effort, not their perfect effort
- be specific
- praise your teammate before you expose the issue
- end the quick conversation with a positive not a negative comment
Scenario #2
The same as scenario #1 and you communicate with your teammate in the following way:
- magnify their mistakes as worse then it really may be
- focus on the negative
- verbally attack your teammate and not their action
- value your teammate only to the level at which they can or cannot play the game
- be general (i.e. You always... or You never...)
Will You Go the Extra Mile?
If scenario #1 sounds most like you, then you most likely highly value interpersonal harmony. This answers the question what are your realistic expectations of your coaches and teammates?
Athlete's with this strength are usually considered a team player, concerned for others, strong communicator, and enjoy interacting with their teammates.
How Realistic Are You?If scenario #2 sounds most like you, then you most likely give much attention to interpersonal conflict. This answers the question how well can you handle mistakes made when relying on your teammates?
Athlete's who have a high positive attitude score here generally tend to magnify the mistakes and faults of others, even to the point where a loss is instantly blamed on someone else. Has this ever happened to you?
The Choice Is Yours
These are just two attributes that help to define an individual's decision making pattern. No matter which scenario sounded most like you, the goal is to first identify your present mindset. Then find out if that decision making pattern is working for you or not.
Take a few minutes and ask yourself the following questions:
- What is it costing you by having a 'break down my teammate' mindset?
- Is this mindset more for your benefit or your teammates?
- What can you accomplish with a 'build up your teammate' mindset?
- How would things be different for you on the field or court of play? Write down an specific example from a recent game that you participated in.
- Would you feel different? If so, what types of feelings would you now experience?
- Can your teammates benefit from you feeling this way?
- If so how?
